A Letter to God

Dear God,

I come before You more than anything unworthy. Your infinite mercies I take for granted. Your love I've taken for granted time and time again. But to my surprise You can still call me a friend and Your son. I'll never know why tho. For years I've doubted Your very existance maybe because I couldn't actually feel ur hand holding mine. To be honest with You who knows all truth, walking by faith nd not by sight is probably the hardest thing I've ever done. I often end up in a boxing match with the flesh. But I'm telling You I never wanna be KO'd by the flesh, the worst beating any one could take.

But that's one of my many problems Lord! You kno all my imperfections, all my shortcomings, all the cracks that need to be filled. But yet I wasn't looking to You to fill and fix them up. U remember when I was partying when I was hurting, drinking while crying on the inside and fornicating while my heart was aching. But You remained faithful! Psalm 66:12 You made me go thru fire and water but You brought me to this place of abundance. Because we know what I was going through. How I could not escape adversity and my enemies and how defeated the devil had me believe I was. And yet through it, I came to know You and be saved by Your son Jesus Christ. I'm forever grateful.

Psalm 17:1 Hear O Lord my plea it doesn't come from decietful lips. I'm coming to You telling You everything on my mind and in my heart. Like how the trials I face now have me scared out of my mind. I don't have to list to You the all-knowing the problems facing me. But all I have to do is remember the book of Job. First the devil has to ask YOU permission to mess with me to see if I will lose faith in You. Not gonna happen. And even in the midst of the storm, Job still praised Your name. As will I. At the end of it all u made Job a greater man than he was before. I can't wait. But even if u nvr gave me another blessing. You've done enough. No poem no prayer no praise could ever repay what You've done and what You will continue to do.

You are the love of my life. I had to write u this letter because ur the only Father I know. I could sit here and say how grateful I am for you ordering my steps. Because u make no mistakes. You cradled me in every situation and without ur grace where would I be? The thought is scary. And even the ordered steps are sometimes hard though Lord but I know You've got me covered.

And Lord You kno I battle with pride. For years I gave myself credit for making it to where I am today and gave You credit after I dished out thanks to everyone else. You got thanked when I remembered to. But I am now humble so that one day you may exalt me. Because what can I truly be prideful of if it didn't have You centered around it? Destroy my walls of pride like you did the tower of Babel or the town of Sodom nd Gommorrah. When I sing let it not be to hear my own voice but only to minister unto ur name and to bring ppl to Christ. Take away my desires to be the flyest person in the room. Take away my impurities and make me as silver my dear silversmith. Hold me in that fire until You see Ur reflection in me [Malachi 3:3]. Chisel away at my exterior to get to my beautiful core that is pleasing to You.

Do you remember when I cried at Winterfest Lord? Cuz I knew that God forbid if I were to die the next day the life I was leadin, I probably wouldn't have seen Your face. Lord I cried b/c through it all, despite me turning my back so many times you remained faithful. How ungrateful and unworthy am I!? I cried b/c I felt defeated because I wanted to change my life but I felt like it was impossible. I then realized I couldn't do it alone and that I needed none other than You. The devil tries HARD to convince me that I'm the same person. He does roar like a lion in my ear sometimes but a simple lifting of my eyes to the hills and knowing that is where my help comes from, is enough to get the enemy to flee.

And Lord I'm in this state of confusion after graduation. Fear and uncertainty lurk around like creepers at a party. I try and keep a calm head and remember Luke 12:22-25 where u say stress won't add a day to my life. I pray you lead me where I need to be and remove me from where I should not. Your will is perfect and is the only one I wish to be a part of. I sometimes question it in the back of my head Lord but I remember what you said in Isaiah 45:9-10, who am I the son to question You the Father? You're in total control and I wouldn't have it any other day

So Lord I write You this letter just to expound upon everything u already know about me. I want You to kno I will always be there to praise You as You will be there to be my everything. But I'm also asking You continue to mold me, melt me, form me and transform me into what You want me to be b/c I wouldn't rather be anything else. Remove any doubtful thoughts and replace them with reassurance that You are the I Am That I Am, Jehova Jireh and Elohim Himself. Let my past remain past and stand as lessons learned for my fruitful future. Let my now be devoted to You and be a pleasing sight to You. Finally let my future be prosperous in Jesus matchless name. Let my life be a testament to ur greatness. Let my light shine and my city on the hill be seen! And when they see the light I'll tell them who my electrician is. When they see my city I'll tell them who my architect is. The Alpha and Omega Thank You

Sincerely Yours, Now and Forever

Jelani

Amen...